(unrelenting) Faith is a Luxury

Venturing into sacred territory.

I’ve chosen a rather controversial topic, one with little allowance for varying opinions. To avoid misinterpretation, I’d like to begin by clarifying that this is not a dismissal of mine or anyone’s faith, but an effort to offer a slightly unconventional perspective (based on true events, of course).

I was raised Roman Catholic, and I grew up belonging to one of Asia's largest churches, with faith and religion at the center of a lot of our learning. It offered community and opportunities, both of which I am eternally grateful for. Every aspect of the community was layered with faith and religion. Like any person with a penchant for reasoning, I have had my fair share of questions and rebuttals, and they were sometimes met with fruitful discussions and other times with blatant dismissals - both the fabric of our society.  Before I go on, I’d like to establish some facts: 

Something we all know - Life isn't linear, and none of us are perfect (joyful indeed). 

Now, for something we all know, but avoid always acknowledging, circumstances heavily influence our depth of faith. 

Lastly, something we learn the hard way - As a society/ community, we do not appreciate variance in faith without imposing severe guilt, and there’s this inherent need to change that variance. 

I’ve carried my faith with pride; it occupies a special place in my life. I’ve gone through the motions of wanting to abandon it, wanting to evangelize, wanting to just let it be. Through all of it and as I continue to go through this life, observing, listening, experiencing, the more I believe - unrelenting faith is a luxury. 

Since I claimed this to be based on true events, here’s how I arrived at it: 

On a WhatsApp group, I’ve seen someone post, they prayed for a headache to go away. It did (I cannot verify if anything else besides prayers was done)

Boom. Faith strengthened. 

I’ve had a friend pray for a promotion (AND put in the work as well). They got it Faith Renewed.  

A neighbour’s family prayed for clear medical tests and got them. 

Boom! Faith Restored.

A family prayed for children (after years of trying and unsuccessful IVF rounds), and there were children

Faith Elevated

I know people who are cancer-free, built homes, and put food on the table when they thought it wouldn't be possible. They have felt anchored to their faith. They’ve believed it can move mountains, because it has for them. 

But I also know people whose sisters died at 15, husbands never woke up at 46, sons died at 40, some at 8. Parents ready to retire when one is diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Hard-earned money lost in an unsuspecting scam.  These are people who’ve prayed and begged and believed with the same intensity the others did. 

I hope you are starting to see my perspective on why unrelenting faith is a luxury. 

And the true definition of luxury, according to the Oxford dictionary is a ‘state of great comfort’ 

When you go through something and you find yourself praying for a specific outcome, and you receive it or receive some version of it, you recalibrate your faith. It’s renewed. You believe better. 

It becomes a luxury. Because several others do not get it. 

There’s one other side to this as well, the one where you’ve never been in a situation of utter helplessness or loss of hope that you'd needed to pray so hard for an outcome that saves you, your family, or a life.

You need to understand that is a luxury too. 

And before you come at me, I am calling it out, no one goes through life unscarred, but the degrees vary. Despite this, somehow we are all expected to showcase the same level of faith. We cannot voice our disappointment or reservations. It’s classified as, ‘they do not see how much else is working for them’ ‘they should have more faith’ ‘I had my faith and it worked for me, it will for them, if they pray more’ 

And the top-tier blanket statement of - there is a grand plan for all of us, and we are exactly where we need to be. 

FAIR ENOUGH, but sometimes where we exactly are, is a really really crappy place, and it isn’t something you wished upon yourself, or was a result of a bad decision. And in these times, it’s okay to have your faith reserved.

If I have a dollar for every time I was told my faith needs to be stronger, I would have purchased an island somewhere in Europe. What I have and what I’ve seen so many people have is perseverance. And that shouldn’t be confused with unrelenting faith. 

Unrelenting faith is a luxury. We need to stop being judged for saying it out loud. 

Pushing faith (your version) on people or not respecting where they are in their faith journey is uncalled for. I do not have a roadmap for this or I don’t think I’m qualified enough to give any advice on ‘how should I respond to someone having their faith reserved’ I don’t know, maybe ask ChatGPT, what I do know is - Faith is a luxury, but empathy is a commodity - Use it.